How I Met You

Love is bizarre right? That was how I told myself before I met you.

Every story may seem ordinary or irrelevant to an outsider, for them, they would rather daydream about how successful they will be in the near future than listen to a “story” that meant the whole world to us.

This is a story of how I met you, and how I persistently tell myself that there will never be one as memorable as you.

People always attach to something that provides a mental shelter for themselves. They want to conceal their sides of darkness as close as possible. They are prone to creating a false sense of self to prevent them from having to expose themselves to social hostility, and among the aforementioned people, I was one of them.

I liked monk stories and even stories about all great religious leaders. I had come to realize that those are exactly the right kinds of stories that can fit into my self-narrative (all enlightened people had no desires whatsoever & I am a goddamn introvert). That kind of narrative justifies my fear of being in a relationship, as well as protects me from facing another excruciating heartbreak (at least I thought so).

One day, on the pavement nearby my accommodation I met you. I had never seen such a charismatic girl in my life, and at that time my irrational self that had long been repressed under the name of “holy cause” had awakened, soon to be unleashed, it was as if a very dull phoenix is going to become a seemingly romantic one after basking in fire.

Wait a minute, my “holy self” said.

You are supposed to turn down any of those things.

You are a goddamn superior introvert, being single and actively engaging yourself in spirituality is something destined, you cannot avoid all of these.

Wait a minute, my “irrational self” rebuked.

It’s ok, I will never make a “move”.

I would say that fate was no longer a mere philosophical conundrum in my case, I would also say that fate is a cheeky, playful, little bastard with an innocent smile 24/7 displayed on its face.

“Let there be light” and there is light.

“Let there be us” and there were two of us in the same language class.

Everything started from that language class, and from that very moment our time being together had started to go off bit by bit until there is nothing left (tick…tick…tick).

Thanks to fate and a certain level of endeavor, we had lunch together.

Thanks to fate and a little bit more endeavor, we were being assigned to the same assessment group.

Thanks to fate and God-knows-where-does-it-come-from bravery, we had breakfast, lunch, dinner together.

Thanks to fate and my consistency in jogging, we had our heart-exchanging time at the stadium.

Thanks to our mutual friends, our time together had not been slightly awkward.

Thanks to you, you acknowledged me for who I am, and you gave me the attention no one has ever had.

And thanks to you again, I know what part does love play in my life.

Suddenly…

Time’s up buddy, your quota has finished, fate said.

Here I am, staying exactly where I was, reminiscing what in the world you meant to me and contemplating who you have become right now.

Thanks to you, I know how deeply I can fall, and I am proud of being constantly faithful to what I deemed magical and divine.

People always proudly proclaim to change for the better. Change is the unchanged factor, it is as if a move of change is inevitable.

Screw change, because staying exactly at the same “place” is my gift as a human.