At this point in our life, I wonder if there is such a thing as personal improvements. I am not here to provide a different set of definitions revolving around what actual improvement is. However, I have gradually come to realize that the so-called ongoing process of self-development is often done involuntarily, which is, people learn to improve themselves not because they want to, but because they are forced to.
There is nothing wrong with improving oneself because we reside in a society where the mindset of improvement is deeply instilled into its culture. And we do not want to run the risk of going against the norm. As we can see, everything we have so far come across, be it on the internet or from the people around us, is mainly about how we should improve ourselves. It is not difficult to trace the root of this cultural phenomenon; the overall toxic positivity is the cultural essence that sustains the careers of most people, and without which, they cannot exploit and leverage our longings for improvements to achieve what they want.
It seems to me that people nowadays are obsessed with the concept of “improving” because it happens to be the cultural norm, and there are no other noble reasons beyond that. The source of motivation for our endeavor to improve ourselves in a certain way is gained by observing the most welcoming quality that is highly demanded in society. When being expressive has become “required” in the community, we somehow feel the need to possess and master that quality. By including that in our “improvement” checklist, we finally have something worth living for. Some people might argue that learning to be expressive is essential when it comes to being successful in life and there is nothing wrong in learning to have that particular quality; however, when it is discussed from a perspective that is strictly concerning about personal psychological well-being, the entire affair will soon look downright unhealthy.
The tendency to improve out of inferiority is a psychological suicide. Why? We tend to develop the urge to improve when we feel a sense of lacking in ourselves; to counter that feeling, we are willing to trade authenticity and happiness in return for admiration and career growth. And slowly, we probably feel empowered by accumulating all those “societal traits”, but at what cost? Unsurprisingly, we treat that stage of life as a sign of complete control over life, for we have achieved everything we wanted by becoming a seemingly successful entrepreneur, or whatever it is, in life.
Unfortunately, what people admire most is the version of an improved person, and they never feel sorry, even if it indicates compromising one’s authentic self. Why? Maybe we have slowly grown fond of hypocrites instead of people willing to preserve their authenticity at any cost. Also, the assumption that the sole act of self-improvement is all by itself a very “right” thing to do has overshadowed some facts that we should instead be paying attention to. To whom we are improving is never discussed in depth; all people want from us is that we improve to contribute to society or, worse, to their own benefit.
When it is not us that we are improving for, it is an apparent indication that we are merely swapping identities, and funnily speaking, people call that swapping an improvement. In my humble opinion, improving oneself means accepting one’s weaknesses. It is definitely not being in denial by imposing societal traits on oneself to suppress their fundamental characteristic.
An introvert who learns to be expressive is not a sign of improvement, though it is an “improvement” in the eye of society. Still, in the eye of that introvert, it is nothing but a certain kind of ritual sacrifice where one’s freedom is being taken away for the “greater good.”.
Here are some signs that we improve only to impress, adapt to society, gain leverage, become superior, feel a sense of completeness, belong, exploit, and ease insecurity.
1) We feel exhausted and drained when we learn to be what people have told us to become.
2) We want people to notice our unique differences.
3) We forcefully persuade people to learn and join what we think is beneficial.
4) We feel that people around us are not out of their comfort zone simply because they are not on the same “level” as us.
5) We think the goal of improving is to obtain wealth, a good impression, and fame.
6) We need to post online whenever we are doing some kind of improvement activity.
7) We carefully polish the narrative of ourselves to avoid any flaws in our life.
People reading this might get offended because it challenges their concept of “self-improvement.” It is up to us to decide for whom we are living. If there is nothing else in us and all we want is to live under people’s mirrors, that is fine because death will soon tell us what is actually important in life.